Our society has seriously changed with the advances in technology, and this has really impacted the family system.
There are some really obvious ways parents and kids are impacted by technology, like needing to monitor a child’s cell phone use, social media accounts, and overall time spent on electronics.
Yet there are some less obvious issues which we don’t so easily see or acknowledge. Issues which have a huge impact on MOMS. Issues which cause moms to feel exhausted, self-conscious, anxious, depressed, and guilty. Technology has exponentially increased the amount of emotional labor moms feel responsible for completing.
Emotional labor is the work someone does that we can’t necessarily see. It’s the tracking of the family’s medical appointments. It’s remembering the birthdays and planning the parties. It’s knowing the likes and dislikes of each family member when it comes to food, activities, and hygiene products. Additionally, it’s the caring for sick family members, being attuned to when someone is sad and cheering them up, and being able to predict and prepare for the plethora of bad things which can happen in everything a family does, every single day. Moms carry the burden of emotional labor in family systems.
Although it’s long been a part of societal culture for moms, and women in general, to take on the role of the emotional laborer, the amount of responsibilities has exponentially grown throughout the years. Technology has amplified everything.
Here’s just a few examples:
BIRTHDAYS
Before the boom in technology, kids used to have small birthday parties, usually at home, and often with just family and/or some close friends. But now, there are so many options for parties, and there’s lots of pressure to take advantage of all of the options. Bounce house parties, pool parties, arcade parties, painting parties, bowling parties, skating parties, and this list never ends. Moms, you don’t want your children to miss out on the experience of having the best birthday party, do you?
SPORTS & ENRICHMENT CLASSES
Before the boom in technology, there were only a few options for classes and sports which usually were through local community centers and schools. But now, you can find specialty classes for everything. There are special art studios, camps, organizations for all kinds of sports and activities. There’s lots of pressure to get your children involved in something and everything. But moms, you need to do the research first! You need to make sure your kids get to try everything. What if you have a budding star-accordion-musician who never reaches their full potential in life, all because you didn’t sign them up for those lessons?
FOOD
Before the boom in technology, eating out meant either going somewhere you’ve been, a place you’ve seen on your drive home, or a place recommended by someone you know. Eating in was prepping a meal after visiting a grocery store. But now, we have lots of additional options. We can look up where we want to eat and know the whole menu ahead of time; we can have ingredients delivered daily with a recipe we cook ourselves; we can have meals delivered already prepared; we can order groceries online and pick them up, or we can just have them delivered. Additionally, moms feel the pressure to make sure the family is eating healthy, and what is healthy changes every few months. So moms, you better stay on top of what is good for you, bad for you, cost-effective, environmentally-friendly, and just socially acceptable. Because…. what would people think?
VACATION
Before the boom in technology, only travel agents had the inside scoop on what all there is to do on vacation. People would decide where they wanted to go with their family, pack appropriately, and drive or fly. But now, once you decide where you want to go, you additionally get to sift through all the transportation options (road trips, car rentals, flights, etc.), decide where you want to stay (a hotel, a vacation home, a bed and breakfast, a hostel, etc.), what you want to do (museums, hiking, beach/pool, amusement parks, etc.), and you get to plan your whole itinerary by researching online. Moms, you do want your kids to think of this vacation as one of the best memories of their childhood experience, right? Don’t screw this up.
Moms today are expected to really step up their emotional labor responsibilities, yet society isn’t seeing it. The pressure is real and unfair. Moms are responsible for the research, the remembering, the planning, and the execution of so many duties. The invisible work moms do has great outcomes for the family overall, but is also an epidemic exhausting moms in our society.
If you’re a mom, and this sounds familiar, take my Supermom Quiz and get some tips for self-care in your life.
English